Through the winding pathways of life one may find oneself at the doorstep of an utterly new experience which requires patient perseverance.  However, before they know it that once challenging experience has become a memory neatly categorized amongst the others of the past. From time to time one may sit back to reflect on those occurrences, their reactions, the outcome and ultimately what they would have done differently.  All of this prepares us for the next hurdle, in hopes of having better judgment, and consequently not repeating similar mistakes. But what of those who are in the moment of experiencing the new?

                I found myself scurrying to those who had gone through what I was slowly preparing myself for these past nine months. Hanging off every word of theirs, I listened intently to each piece of advice they had to offer and jotted down points they stressed should be remembered. The pool of friends I had were either having children or looking to get married, though the former were few. It became a nightly habit to sit and inform my husband of my daily findings via the internet or the friends’ network. In the end I would be utterly confused and much to my dismay so would be my better half. The days flew by and the months moved along and brought with it noticeable changes. Physical and mental preparations were my key goals for the destined day I was to meet the tiny being who I would softly speak to from time to time. When I become flustered by the overwhelming information absorbed from books and new mothers I turned to silent reflection.

                To my delight I was in a sense treading the path of the righteous mothers in Islamic history. Questions bombarded me about how noble women such as Maryam, Aasiya, Khadija, Aminah, and Umm Imam Malik (may Allah be pleased with them all) felt as mothers. It truly was a great blessing that was being bestowed upon me; Allah SWT was giving me an opportunity to raise a Muslim child under the example of not only such amazing women, but also their children. This thought preoccupied my last few days of impatient waiting until finally the day came when my husband and I would welcome a baby girl into our lives.

                SubhanAllah, I recall preparing my room for our child, reading Quran and making immense dua’ before leaving the house and excitedly telling my husband that the next time we enter this home we’ll have a guest with us. It is indescribable what the next few hours held in store for the both of us. Our marital bonds were tested, along with my patience and endurance to pain; such a surreal experience can only be felt not written about. I now understand why many mothers had such difficulty explaining things to me, why I didn’t understand so many points they made, and why I became confused with the information I was receiving. It due to the fact that everyone had a different experience, a different struggle, and Alhumdulillah I can attest to the fact that Allah SWT was merciful on an undeserving person such as myself to have not only made the process easy for me, but by blessing me with a healthy and beautiful baby girl.

                It’s been two months now living with a little person and indeed this too has been a challenging experience. Not a second in the day would there be rest for either of us new parents. Feeding, changing, rocking, talking, holding, and repeating all of these became our new routine. Phone calls would go unanswered, emails not replied to, and sleep was limited. Motherhood had its price and of that I was not aware. My relationship with children had always been to the extent of play with them when they are happy and give them to their mothers when they cry. But now, I was the mother, with the crying baby and no idea what to do. Once again marital bonds were tested, along with my patience and endurance to pain, but to a challenge that would be long lasting, at least until my daughter’s hand would be given to a suitable match who would in turn have to deal with her.

                With the passage of time, or the lack thereof, has come tremendous change not only in our lives but also in our personalities and character. I see my husband in a different light now, any roughness around the corners has softened him with the coming of our daughter. He nicknamed her Zam Zam and it immediately brings to mind the struggle of Hager. This was a mother who was exerting such effort to find food for her child, imagine how she felt, what she was thinking, and her relief as seeing the Zam Zam water.  The blessings of motherhood are infinite as are the responsibilities.

                My only concern is that time is slipping away quickly and I need to make the most of it. My daughter now recognizes our voices, smiles when we speak to her, spits out her pacifier knowing it’s not milk, turns her head to see what’s behind her, and holds on tight to whatever comes into her palms. There is so much teaching that needs to begin and all that falls into my hands. Her first lessons came during Rays of Faith, being eight months pregnant, I sat in the back with swollen feet and a ton of friends at my service to make me comfortable as well as, feel Zam Zam kicking. Both of us learned a great deal in that class and InshaAllah there will be many more to come. Everyone must take advantage of their time and know that every experience is a challenge waiting to be tackled. So, let’s not waste time worrying, rather let’s reflect and act in the best possible manner so that we take advantage of those moments that are slipping away.

Share It

Subscribe to Comments leave a comment or trackback