Zam Zam and I took a much needed vacation down south not too long ago. My precious three month old rode in an airplane for the first time. Unfortunately for her she slept the whole way there alhumdulillah I on the other hand went through the many dua I had in mind while traveling, all the while trying to get comfortable in the seat with Zam Zam on my lap.

Down south, where life is suppose to be easy, slow paced, and friendly I found myself yearing for home. It was the noise of the sirens and neighbors, along with the congestion of the people and houses back home that I missed. What was I thinking?! Was it even possible to miss the very same things I complained about? Allahu Alam

A week passed, slowly but surely, as Zam Zam and I packed our bags for our return flight home. Flight home…those words really made sense. My brother in law told me a story while I was visiting of some brothers in the community who were organizing a cemetary cleanup. The graveyard the Muslim community had purchased was being illegally used by others to plant Christmas trees even though people were burried there. Since the area was not maintained properly by the Muslims no one knew it was being used. So some men of the community went out to cut down trees and clean up the area. One brother had a difficult time getting people to volunteer. He would convince them by saying, “We’re cleaning up our home my brothers, it’s our final destination, only we are responsible for it.”

That story played over and over again in my mind on the flight back to Jersey. I realized I was homesick for the wrong home. As I looked down at the beauty I held in my lap I realized that any second now, or in our lives, both of us could pass away up in the sky, which seemed to be the most vulnerable of all places. Where would my home be then? The land we were flying over, the lakes, forest, roads etc? I was going home, but was what I thought of as home my real home? So many questions and only one answer:

“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).”

(Qur’an Al-Imran 3:185)

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Goosebumps, palpating hearts, droplets of sweat, anxious glances, and all this for the return of the fortunate few who spent two weeks with our honored Shayookh. Oh how I obsessed over the forums trying to read gems, memorable moments, or anything from friends who attended IlmSummit! Upon their return inboxes were flooded, cell phones began ringing, houses were visited, just to see the noor on the faces of those who learned something new. But, the question remained: When will you teach us?

Ibn Al Jawzee’s words resonate through the heart, “Be careful not to get busy with worship without knowledge, for many of the creation who were ascetics strayed from the path of guidance because they practiced without knowledge.   And hold yourself to account before every look, word, and thought, for you will be questioned about them.   And as much as you benefit from knowledge will those who listen to you benefit.  When the admonisher does not practice what he knows, his admonishment falls off the hearts just as water falls down a rock. Therefore do not admonish except with a sincere intention, and do not walk except with a sincere intention, and do not eat a morsel except with a sincere intention…”

Sit with us, speak to us, and teach us cries the heart to those who were chosen from all corners of the world to meet in one place, at one time with one common goal: Ilm

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Have you ever been driving down a road and seen someone waiting to turn onto the road from a side street, or even trying to get into your lane on the highway?  Have you ever held the door open for someone on your way into a store?  What did you expect in return for these kind gestures?  Money?  A lollipop?  A gold star?  No, of course not.  We’re all above any kind of tangible reward, mashaa’ Allah.

But you did expect something, didn’t you?

Whether you want to admit it or not, you expect an acknowledgement of gratitude for any of these actions – a wave or a simple “thank you”.  And you feel good about yourself when you receive it.

How then do you feel when you don’t get the expected “thank you wave”?

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Some of us spend 40 hours a week (or more) at work.  Others work part-time while going to school full-time.  Others yet work abbreviated days so we can be home in time to see our children get off the school bus and tell us about the amazing events of their day.

And then we try to squeeze as much play time into whatever is left.  For some, that’s getting in the sleep you couldn’t get all week long.  For others, it’s reading a book, or hanging out with friends, or going for a run, or hitting the gym … the list goes on.

So when exactly do we make time for Allah?  Are we really only giving Him what’s leftover from our “busy” day or week?  For many, the reality of day to day life amounts to work, home, play and then deen.  I’m here to challenge this paradigm, and say it doesn’t have to be this way!

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It was narrated that Hanzalah al-Usaydi said:

Abu Bakr met me and said: How are you, O Hanzalah? I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite. He said: Subhaan Allaah! What are you saying? I said: When we are with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) he reminds us of the Fire and the Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we depart from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), we attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great deal. Abu Bakr said: By Allaah, we experience something similar. Abu Bakr and I went and entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite, O Messenger of Allaah. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Why is that?” I said: O Messenger of Allaah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and the Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we depart from you, we attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great deal.
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It was said to al-Hasan al-Basri: “Would not any one of us feel ashamed before his Lord to seek forgiveness from his sin then go back to it, then seek forgiveness then go back to it?”

He said: “The Shaytaan would like you to feel that way; never give up seeking forgiveness.”

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