Alone I was to my dark thoughts. I turned back and forth in my bed trying to find comfort in sleep. I simply couldn’t. My mind and heart were wandering around in a deranged world not yet ready for rest. I felt an urge to scream, but couldn’t. I felt an urge to weep, but my eyes were dry from past sleepless nights filled with tears. I needed a distraction. I needed an escape. I needed to forget.
“Knock, Knock”, all of a sudden I heard from afar. I glanced carefully, trying to see through the darkness surrounding me.
Little did I know, the devil himself paid me a visit with a guest I had not expected. The guest came in adorned and beautified as a bride is beautified for her groom–a courtesy from the devil himself. And so the night unraveled it’s dark tale. It happened just like that:
The night was just perfect for his plot. It was exactly how he wanted it to be. The atmosphere was nice, the mood was exact to his touch. I was exactly where he wanted me to be: in a vulnerable state. I could not resist. I gave in with complete submission. I broke the seal of my dikhr, and uncovered the cloth of modesty. I no longer had control over my thoughts, my actions, or senses. I was in complete submission to my desires. I was in a state of sinning.
By the Mercy of Allah, only through His Grace and Majesty was I ever saved. While in such disgusting state a thought flashed in my mind. I remembered it was the best ten days of the year and I was there sinning. I thought to myself in disgust: I was already robbed of the blessings of Ramadan, yet here I am again depriving myself from the blessings of Dhulhijjah. It was then I realized, I was paving my path towards my own destruction.
Immediately my eyes relinquished with tears, and my mouth stuttered istigfar. At that point, I felt my soul, heart, and mind returning in peace to my trembling body. I broke off the spell of shaytan and wrapped myself in cloth of repentance as I made sujood to my lord seeking his forgiveness. That day, I recognized the power of Dhul Hijjah, it saved me from my own destruction.
Tags: dhulhijjah, reminders, shaytaan
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Mashallah, that is beautiful. The words are absolutely captivating, and the content is remarkable! May Allah accept from us our good deeds during these 10 virtuous days. Ameen
When I first saw this, I thought it was the AlMaghrib power of 10 discount.
SubhanAllah, it was better than that. I thought the description was really beautifully written. It actually reminds of a book I had to read for class. The narrator was about to commit zina (‘aoodhubillah!!!) but described the one approaching her as “beautifully dressed in sin.” (Of course it was written in a more ‘lovely’ way – the irony of the wording astaghfirullah!) Sin always seems soooo attractive but reality is it’s short-lived.
Good deeds in a sense are ‘hard’ to do- we have to defeat our nafs to do good deeds. For example: Read Qur’an over watching tv. Making dhikr instead of absent-mindingly daydreaming, lower our gaze instead of looking at that attractive person, giving sadaqa instead of buying something for ourselves, etc.!
I remember reading it’s worse to commit a sin during a sacred time of the year or in a sacred place (like the haram).
InshaAllah take advantage of the 10 days. Doing good is better during the 10 days of dhul hijah than regular days. Say tahmeed (elhumdulillah), takbeer (allahu akbar) and tashkeel (la illaha illallah) a lot inshaAllah!
Rabbana taqabbal minna. – Our Lord! Accept this from us.
After all, “verily the life of this dunya is a deception of a thing” (paraphrased – not exact wording) as one ayah in s. ‘ali imran states.
Barakallahu feek(y). =)
wow. This should be reposted in February. We needed a new article on this subject, as the ‘Cupid’s arrow’ analogy was straight up getting old.
JazakAllaho khairun,
Shaitan= desire.
if that desire interrupts you from remembering Allah
And being thankful to Allah
Ibn Taymiyyah said
“The more he disdains to worship Allah, the greater
will be his poverty and need for a beloved pursuit, which culminates as his
end desire: the primary desire of the heart.”